Why personality traits are important when meeting children’s needs
A person’s personality is a combination of who they are born as and, how they were brought up in the world. People perceive us considering our behaviors, cognitions, and emotional patterns. That is why it is safe to say, there are as many “personalities” as there are people. That is why diversity is so important.
Diversity is also why parenting is so fascinating and difficult. In my posts, I wish to support parents in meeting their children’s needs, embracing their child’s uniqueness and, at the same time, doing what parents love.
The challenge I had in the beginning was,
“How can I help parents in this general newsletter when the topic is so vast and specific?”
Then it came to me, by using the knowledge from Soul Realignment, I could create “groups” considering 16 personality traits that most parents could easily use as guidelines when meeting their children’s main needs. This will also allow parents to create the right atmosphere during together time. It is important to see these traits as part of who your child is, not as stand alone traits that define your child 100%.
Here are 8 of the 16 traits that will help meeting children’s needs:
1- Sensitive. Is your child always concerned with how you feel? Does he/she automatically become sad when you are sad or happy when you are happy? Then it is important to pick them up from school and spend some time with them. Speak with them about what they experienced at school and how that made them feel. Also, when you go shopping with them, include them in decisions like where to go, or what to buy. They love sharing their opinion with you and when you validated them.
2- Adventurous. These children love trying new things. Boredom is hard to avoid as they loose interest in things fast! After some time, they go back to the toy and things they lost interest in as if they have seen them for the first time. Remember, don’t throw anything away to soon.
It is hard meeting these children’s needs, especially after a long day at work. It just feels like they never have enough. Their cup is just never full. In such a case, it is very important to be 100% present. They want 100% of you from the moment you pick them up. Only they know for how long. But, if you do this every day, by the end of the week, or maybe a little longer, you will notice that their need for you will reduce. Remember, every day something new, so once in a while you can doing something for you, shopping can happen😉
3- Tidy. These children like having it their way. They prefer to have their stuff organized in a way that might only make sense to them. Important is to allow them the freedom to choose their stuff and organize their room their way. Help them by explaining why another option might be better, but never impose on them. They love to create things that have use, so cooking is a great way to spend time with them. When choosing something, explain the reason behind your choice, they really feel validated when you acknowledge them and their opinion.
4- Loving. The hugger, kisser. The child that everyone likes but no one finds time for… and they seem to be ok with that. They never complain! These children need you, they never ask but they love to receive affection. So give them some of your time, even when everything seems ok. When they lack support or when you fail meeting your child’s needs, they will see it as not being worthy and end up having very low self esteem and confidence. All these children need is 30 min of your time after school and/ or work. They need their hugs. Loving children need that favorite sandwich that only mama knows how to make. They need playtime with papa that is real good fun!
5-Noisy. Noisy children love to speak and they love to listen. They love music, dance, reading, writing. Anything that is related to communication, to expression, is just their thing. They need you to listen to them and be true. Meeting their needs means that you hear and understand them. After school activities like dance, music or just going to the library are great. When you are with them, ask how they experienced their day… they will take it from there😉
6- Skillful. These are our artists. They love drawing, even if they do not seem to be good at it (art is subjective). They love color and shapes and all related to creating from scratch. Art projects are great activities for them. They love being in nice atmosphere, pretty places. So the choice of the playground matters. They love creating and getting their fingers dirty. Ask them about their art activities in school and allow them to show you what they did.
7- Independent. These children need to be free of routine. They might do more then most children, but only by choice. If you book too many after school activities, you are asking for trouble. They love to do things, to have all options open, but they truly hate routine. Never decide for them, include them in your decisions. Allow them to go to a family event and to isolate. They will feel validated and not excluded. And after some time, they will choose to join the event. When that happens, avoid commenting, that will really trigger some bad attitude.
8- Wise. These children are challenging because they just know it all. They know when you lie, they know when you hide something, so surprises are just impossible. Wise children hate lies, especially unnecessary ones. I would discribe these children as very level headed and they make very wise choices so allow them that freedom.
They appreciate any true time they get. 100% presence and honesty should always be part of your time together. They do not require much time. When they need it they will ask for it and expect you to be available. They also like to be validated, but it is not going to change how they feel about themselves. Meeting wise children’s needs means being honest and available.
When they speak the truth (yes, they usually speak about what is and not what they wish for) accept it! If you just can’t accept what they say, tell them why. That is a great opportunity for you to learn something new!
These are 8 of the 16 personality traits that we will focus on in my newsletters. We will see how they may appear when a child has more then one of them. We will also layout ways of handling the child without loosing sight of your true self.