Diversity is so wonderful. It allows us to do standard activities in different ways because we can see our reality using different perspectives. It also allows us to course correct when we know something is not working for us because we are aware that there are other ways, diverse ways.
In the beginning of my relationship with my husband, every time we got into a fight I would expect that both of us changed to please the other. So we could grow closer, fit together… this did not happen. The more I tried to fit in the bigger the argument. If you think about it it makes sense. I was changing and in my opinion he still did the same, And that made me really pissed off!
One night, after a big argument, after jumping into my car and driving away… with nowhere to go really. I was in Germany and had just left my apartment and moved in with my boyfriend. I really had nowhere else to go. But, jumping into my car and driving nowhere gave me a sense of freedom. That was how I reacted then, I ran away!
I drove for a while, parked the car by our apartment. I got out my stress cigarette and started to smoke (even now, if for some reason I smoke my husband asks me what he did wrong 😆).
Being in my 30s and really did not want to waste anymore time in a relationship that made no sense… had enough of that from previous years. So, I walk back to the apartment and said.
“This is who I am, take it or leave it. I don’t wish to change you nor to change myself. If this is not going to work, I want to know now. I need to know now because I am not getting any younger.”
This is me paraphrasing… I am sure my husband would tell this story a bit differently, but he is not writing this blog, is he!!
That decision was so important for us. From that day on, we started learning how to accept one another and benefit from our differences. We embraced diversity within our relationship and it has been such a great relationship. With our ups and downs. But the downs are quickly resolved and the ups are so intensely enjoyed. I know acceptance of our uniqueness and embracing our diverse relationship was the right decision!
That was our True Beginning!